GIFTED

Yesterday, the school guidance counselor pulled my kids out of class and gave them all IQ tests. "Their academic performance indicates that they are strong candidates for the gifted program," the woman told me a few days ago on the phone.

"I am so mad at you for making me take that test," snapped Drama Girl when I picked her up from school. I pretended not to know what she was talking about. "The guidance counselor showed me the papers that you signed," she sneered. "I answered all the questions wrong on purpose!" barked Mrs. Priss, "And I got up to use the bathroom seven times during the test."

"Well done," I replied. "I do enough work at school," Drama Girl complained. "Why would I want to do more?" She made a good point. Early this morning, the guidance counselor called me with the results of the exam.

According to the test rubric, Mrs. Priss has below average intelligence. Drama Girl is bored out of her mind at school, but she probably doesn't notice because according to the IQ test, she only has three brain cells.

I seriously don't know whether to laugh or cry.